App Review: PMH (Pocket Monster Hunters)

Well this is my first ever app review. This app was… special. I'm glad I got it for free.

Pocket Monster Hunters
1/5 Stars

Am I the only one to notice they took all the names from Pokémon? I wasn't even a Pokémon fan back in the day and I figured that one out.

I've played this game for two minutes, and I think I've figured it out in ten easy steps:
1) look at some Japanese cartoon drawings and tap the thing that says 'Busy' even though it isn't
2) go through a few things with some Engrish (badly translated Asian english) and try to figure out what to do
3) tap 'combat' then 'hunt'. some stuff happens and you try to figure out how to fight
4) you die
5) look in the "Help" to try to find controls for fighting. Read more Engrish, don't see any.
6) go back to the hunt… realize you're not supposed to do anything.
7) watch the "fight" and wonder why you've spent so much time on this already
8) quit the game
9) get in your car and go on the freeway. throw your iPhone/iPad/iPod out the window. Make sure that semi behind you runs it over and smashes it into a million tiny little pieces.
10) buy new iDevice, vowing never to download or ever think about PMH ever ever ever again.