Thursday, November 8

Will He Blend? (A Rediculous Short Story)

   Imagine that the "Will It Blend?" guy has gone crazy. His videos are not as popular as they used to be and he is obsessed, looking for a way to make the best "Will It Blend?" video of all time. He decides to blend HIMSELF!!!
   However, he knows that voluntarily jumping into a giant blender and turning it on is something he probably won't willingly do, so he decides the only option he has is to clone himself, and put the clone in the blender.
   What he didn't think about was the clone having the same strength as himself, so he makes another clone to help him put the first clone into the giant blender. He didn't plan on the two clones deciding that HE should go into the blender. He manages to escape them and hide in a closet, but the clones are clever. The two original clones make even more clones so they can find the original guy faster. One of the clones' clones finds the original guy in the closet, but the original guy hits the clone with a mop, and manages to escape again.
   The clones' clone calls for help, and soon the original guy is being chased by the clones and the clones' clones. He runs out of the building, and into a nearby field. The group of clones chase behind the original guy. However, due to the equal strength and stamina of the original guy, the clones, and the clones' clones, this fearful chase is one that will go on until the end of time...



Please +1 and Comment!

Monday, October 22

Grand Rapids shooting and other thoughts

"Authorities found two victims near the school. Both are students and neither sustained life-threatening injuries. One of those was a 17-year-old young woman who was shot in the leg. The details of the other student's injuries have not yet been released. A 16-year-old young man was shot in the torso and was found on Dickinson Street SE. He was alert, talking and providing information to police on the scene. He is not a student at Hope Academy, police said. All three victims were taken to area hospitals and are expected to survive."*

This is another one of those times I shake my head and just kinda wonder what the f*ck is wrong with people these days. I mean, these are kids. A sixteen year old shot in the torso and a seventeen year old shot in the leg. It's just… *sigh*

It's weird. There's this movie idea I've been working on about what leads up to something such as a school shooting. I want it to be about the events and the emotions leading up to it, more of a character drama I guess. It will show how you can start off with a perfectly "normal" (whatever that means) person, but after certain events they start to change. People may notice there's something different, but they don't really go farther than that. They don't care.
I'm a tech junkie (you're probably gonna see a post in the coming week about Apple's event tomorrow), but sometimes I think that technology is really getting in the way of people really connecting to other people. A friend of mine said "People just don't care anymore, probably because we're all so into our technology that when we finally look up it's too late or not enough!" Go through the list of "friends" you have online, and take a note of how many people you would be able to spend time alone with, just you and them, and not have it be awkward. I'm not saying you have to be best friends, but how many times can you look at someone and not only realize there's something wrong, but then ask them what's bothering them.
I recently read an article online about a study done in Seattle. Here are some of the results:
"The rate of high school students who brought a weapon to school increased from 6 percent 8 percent. Depression was a growing problem for high school and middle school students. Twenty-two percent of high schoolers reported feeling depressed for more than two weeks in the last year. Twelve percent of high school students reported making a suicide plan -- up four percent since 2008."**
To me, this is something we as a people can work on. All we need to do is just try to pay more attention to the people around us. Do you think we can do that? I certainly hope so…




*http://www.woodtv.com/dpp/news/local/grand_rapids/shooting-near-hope-academy-in-gr
**http://www.q13fox.com/news/kcpq-survey-results-show-more-teens-depressed-less-drug-alcohol-use-20110518,0,3233613.story

Tuesday, October 2

ArtPrize 2012

Visited ArtPrize with my lovely girlfriend today. Here's some stuff we saw :)

Tuesday, September 25

The Comsaga Continues...

Comcast sucks. I just wanna get that across. It's 9:30PM on Tuesday September 25th, and we have no Internet again. Isn't this awesome? So my dad's been calling Comcast all day asking what the bejesus is going on. Nothing has happened. But at least we have tv...
Anyway my mom just got home from my brother's soccer game and apparently she got a voicemail from some "Escalation Team"... Now what kind of company would have an "Escalation Team"? You guessed it. Comcast. This kinda makes sense though, because if your cable/Internet/phone company starts calling themselves the "Escalation Team", you know they have absolutely no business doing cable/Internet/phone service. Oh boy...

Comcast is XSHITINY

Okay so by reading the title you can probably assume what this post is going to be about. I'm not a fan of Comcast much at all... In the past 2 weeks we've had a total service outage (no phone, Internet, or tv [on the day of the iPhone 5 announcement]), email not working, Internet not working (off and on) and tv glitches. Isn't that awesome?!? Oh the Comcast 'Triple-Play'? More like the Comcast Triple Douche. Yeah, that was bad. Not very creative. I'll come up with something better in a bit. They triple played us! No. No, that wasn't it either. Forget about that.
Anyway I'm just trying to say Comcast sucks. Yup. Now I'm probably gonna fall asleep of boredom, so I guess I'll post this tomorrow morning. Yup.

Couldn't post it this morning, we still didn't have Internet.

CONCAST!!!! There we go.

Friday, July 13

Telikin Online chat


  • 1:00 pm Admin said :
    Welcome, a Telikin Sales Representative will be with you shortly!
  • 1:01 pm Frank said :
    Hello. This is Frank , how can I help you?
  • 1:01 pm Jason said :
    Hey Frank I'm Jason, how ya doin?
  • 1:02 pm Frank said :
    Good sir. What can I do for you?
  • 1:04 pm Frank said :
    Hello? Are you still there?
  • 1:04 pm Jason said :
    So I'm in a PC Support class an I was just browsing random computers that don't have Windows pre-installed, and I came across you guys. Can you help me a little bit when it comes to some of the more technical aspects of your computer?
  • 1:05 pm Frank said :
    Sure. What is it that you would like to know?
  • 1:06 pm Jason said :
    Well first off, I notice you have a proprietary OS. Can you tell me what it's based on?
  • 1:07 pm Jason said :
    like is it a custom version of Linux?
  • 1:08 pm Frank said :
    That is exactly what is is. We built our interface in conjunction with the linux system. This computer is Virus free, very easy to use intuitive system . We made it to be much more user friendly and very safe to use.
  • 1:09 pm Jason said :
    Yeah well OSX was virus-free too. haha
  • 1:10 pm Frank said :
    Well this literally is. It is a completely closed, protected system.
  • 1:10 pm Jason said :
    is it possible to upgrade the RAM at all? I see you have 2GB installed, but could i get it up to 4, 8, or 16?
  • 1:11 pm Jason said :
    Basically, what all is upgradeable?
  • 1:13 pm Frank said :
    Unfortunately, there is not at this time. The 2 gig that is available on the linux actually goes much much further that the 2 gig on a windows based program. The software and programs loaded on to the Telikin are kept seperate internally and does not actually use upany of the 2gig space. All sofware updates and upgrades come automatically from us for free for the life of the computer.
  • 1:14 pm Jason said :
    Yeah i know Linux.
  • 1:14 pm Jason said :
    so there's no way I could remove the back and swap out the RAM?
  • 1:14 pm Frank said :
    What other types of things would you want to upgrade?
  • 1:15 pm Frank said :
    No I'm sorry there is not
  • 1:16 pm Jason said :
    is there any way to get to any of the internals at all?
  • 1:16 pm Frank said :
    No there is
  • 1:17 pm Frank said :
    not
  • 1:21 pm Jason said :
    So it's not EPEAT green certified? haha So when it comes to the software, is that all proprietary too or are you using open office or libre office, etc...?
  • 1:24 pm Frank said :
    We have our own software that is compatible with Microsoft office, Word Excel etc. For the protection of the computer and our customers and to keep it easy for them, everything comes directly from us.
  • 1:25 pm Jason said :
    okay, so you do have more than just a word processor?
  • 1:27 pm Frank said :
    Yes we have a spreadsheet program as well (compatible with excel) PDF Viewers, Slideshow Viewers, Scanning program, Media Player, CD/DVD player, Kindle reader and more
  • 1:30 pm Jason said :
    cool cool cool. If I bought this, would I be limited to the Telikin software, or is it possible to download other programs from online?
  • 1:32 pm Frank said :
    You can use any oniline software. The Telikin does not allow any third party software to be installed for the safety of the computer
  • 1:32 pm Jason said :
    So things like Google Chrome are a no-no?
  • 1:33 pm Frank said :
    Google crome cannot be used because it needs to be installed
  • 1:34 pm Jason said :
    hmmmm... okay. Does the 20" only come in black?
  • 1:35 pm Frank said :
    Yes. The 18" comes in White, and the 20" comes in black
  • 1:35 pm Jason said :
    "With Telikin, You’ll Have Choices" Doesn't seem so...
  • 1:39 pm Frank said :
    There are many many choices. Try to understand that 99% of our customer base does not need or want 1000's of options. They can go anywhere on the web that they want, skype, organize photo's share info with family email, play music, games, movies. The only thing you cannot do is install new software.
  • 1:40 pm Jason said :
    Can I also point out that the clock on this chat is 12 mins too fast?
  • 1:41 pm Frank said :
    I realize that. It is a website application error, not a Telikin error. Are there any other questions that I may answer for you?
  • 1:42 pm Jason said :
    Can I assume that this computer won't allow someone to boot from a CD?
  • 1:44 pm Frank said :
    Can you explain what you mean by "boot" from a CD? Do you me the operating system? or are you asking if you can bring in information, files, photo's etc from a cd?
  • 1:47 pm Jason said :
    I mean like put an Ubuntu Live CD into the optical drive, turn the computer on, and run Ubuntu off of the CD before going into the Telikin OS.
  • 1:48 pm Frank said :
    NO. That is not allowed
  • 1:54 pm Frank said :
    Are you still with me?
  • 1:56 pm Jason said :
    So just so I know I understand, the 20" Telikin Elite is a $1200 touchscreen computer that doesn't allow any expansion, added software, or anything other than what's already on there?
  • 1:56 pm Jason said :
    It's an Apple Newton.
  • 1:57 pm Frank said :
    It's actually $999
  • 1:58 pm Jason said :
    MSRP $1199. It's on your website
  • 1:58 pm Jason said :
    Why even have that if it's actually $999?
  • 2:01 pm Frank said :
    I am not really sure, what your asking of me. This is a life changing computer for tens of thousands of people
  • 2:01 pm Debbie said :
    Because it's a continuing special
  • 2:03 pm Jason said :
    How long does it take to start up?
  • 2:03 pm Frank said :
    about 1 minute or less
  • 2:04 pm Jason said :
    wow
  • 2:09 pm Jason said :
    okay, well I think you answered all my questions...
  • 2:10 pm Jason said :
    Are you still with me?
  • 2:11 pm Debbie said :
    Frank is placing a order
  • 2:11 pm Jason said :
    Thank you Debbie.
  • 2:11 pm Debbie said :
    your welcome
  • 2:13 pm Jason said :
    Does the Telikin computer not support multitasking?
  • 2:13 pm Frank said :
    has ended the conversation



My favorite part is when Frank just left.

Thursday, July 5

Get me to 1,000!!!

This blog has almost 900 views. Let's get it to 1,000. That is all.
~Jason

Thursday, June 14

Best Buy junk & stuff

Well today I found I had a somewhat significant amount of Best Buy gift cards. I decided that meant I needed to spend that money as quickly as possible. I saw a Cricket phone I was thinking about just using as a media player and wanted to know if it had a microSD slot for expandable storage. One of those 'Live Assistant Chat' things came up. I love what happened next...


The following is an actual 'LivePerson' chat, the name of the rep has been changed*

Chat 
InformationThank you for choosing Cricket Wireless, a representative will be with you shortly to answer all your questions and help you place your order today.
Chat 
InformationAll representatives are currently assisting others. Your estimated wait time is 0 minutes and 1 seconds. Thanks for your patience.
Chat 
InformationAll representatives are currently assisting others. Your estimated wait time is 0 minutes and 1 seconds. Thanks for your patience.
Chat 
InformationYou are now chatting with Dan.

Dan: Thank you for chatting with Cricket Wireless. Can I help you place your order today?
Jason: Hey I just wanted to know if the ZTE Score had a microSD slot
Dan: I would be happy to help you with that. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions to provide you with the best possible service?
Jason: Well I just wanna know if it has an SD slot, so I don't see why you really need to.
Dan: Are you currently a customer of Cricket Wireless?
Jason: I might be. it depends on if the ZTE Score has a microSD slot for extra storage.

Chat 
InformationThank you for chatting with us. Please click the "Close" button on the top right of the chat window to tell us how we did today.

Nice customer service Cricket! Really appreciate it...


*I lied, I didn't change the name of the Cricket rep. Sorry Dan.

Tuesday, June 12

Apple WWDC 2012 MacBook Roundup


     Okay people, even if you're not an Apple fan boy, Apple's World Wide Developer's Conference started off with a HUGE bang. Announcements of the new MacBook Pro, OS X Mountain Lion, and iOS 6, rocked the computer world. I just finished watching the keynote online, and some of the things I saw left me literally speechless. The new Maps app Apple has created for iOS is gorgeous, and has some features that you can't find on some maps on an actual PC. The main thing I wanna talk about though, is the new MacBook Pro.

     The MacBook Pro is already arguably the best notebook in the consumer market today, and Apple just made it way, way better. It's thin, only 0.03in thinker than the current MacBook Air. It has a 720p HD FaceTime camera. It has up to 768GB of flash storage, which is faster than a traditional hard drive. Two USB 3.0 ports backwards compatible with USB 2.0, two Thunderbolt ports (2x faster than USB 3.0), and, for the first time ever on a MacBook, an HDMI port. Yes, this is the best MacBook Apple has ever made.

One more thing...


Click here to see the image at Retina display resolution
     

The MacBook has the Retina display!!! This is the highest-resolution notebook display ever on any computer. The new 15.4" display has over 5.1 MILLION pixels with a resolution of  2880 x 1800. Compare this to a 60" HDTV with a resolution of 1920 x 1080. That's 2.07 million pixels, less than HALF that of the MacBook Pro, in almost 4 times the space. This display is gorgeous, and in Final Cut Pro it allows you to watch your movie with pixel-for-pixel accuracy in the preview area. In Aperture, you will have control over your pictures like never before, and you have the ability to see every last detail of your photos with more clarity than ever before. This is the best display I've ever seen on anything. It takes things to a whole other level, and other companies are going to have a hard time trying to make anything close to it.

For more information on the new MacBook Pro, CLICK HERE.
For more information on OS X Mountain Lion, CLICK HERE.
For more information on iOS 6, CLICK HERE.
To watch the June 2012 Keynote, CLICK HERE* or HERE.
*Safari 4 or 5 on Mac OS X Snow Leopard or Lion, Safari on iOS 3 or later, or QuickTime 7 on Windows.

Tuesday, May 29

App Review: Angry Birds


App Review Number Two (Hey, that rhymes!)

Angry Birds
4½ /5 Stars

Everyone loves Angry Birds, including me. In fact my girlfriend bought me a t-shirt and one of those little glass figurine things you see at the end of the aisle at Meijer or whatever. What started out as a fun little game became a global (or at least national, I don't travel that much) sensation. Who isn't on the side of the cute little birds who got their eggs stolen by legless piggies? (Apparently these people)


     Everyone knows what the point of the game is, so I won't go into much detail, but basically you are the owner of a slingshot and a butt load of birds who each have different abilities (such as going fast, apparent cloning, pooping out bombs that look like eggs, and being suicide bombers). It is your job to fling these birds into poorly constructed piggy shelters. I am somewhat amazed at the construction abilities of the pigs, however, because they have no limbs whatsoever. Also, the pigs have helmets and facial hair.


In-game ads make me sad. Turning them off makes Piggy sad.
     Though this game has become a "must have" on the App Store and the Android Market, There are a few things I do not like about the game. First off comes something that is bugging a lot of people and that is the in-game ads. Yes, Angry Birds is a paid app with ads. Even though the ads are for other Angry Birds games, it's still annoying. Something that has been added recently is the ability to turn the ads off. this can be done my tapping the little mail man piggy on the bottom right of the screen. This also makes Mailman Piggy sad, which is fine, because isn't making piggies sad the point of the game anyway?  The other problem I've been having is that I lose sound after switching back to it from another app. Let's say I'm playing Angry Birds and I get a message on facebook. I go to the facebook app, read the message, then go back to Angry Birds; I no longer have any sound from the game. I have to completely close out the app then reopen it back up in order to hear anything. This is somewhat minor, but still an annoyance.

     Overall though, Angry Birds is a great game for wasting a few minutes, or hours, and deserves the fame it has today. But it doesn't deserve this.



     Thanks for reading this and leave a comment below on what you thought or other apps you may want me to review.
~JasonZak






I know I failed. You don't hafta be so smug about it you radioactive pig bastard.

Thursday, May 24

Kitty Cats!!!!

These are some kittens that are in my girlfriend's garage. They are frickin adorable!!!
(10 pics)

Friday, May 18

App Review: PMH (Pocket Monster Hunters)



Well this is my first ever app review. This app was… special. I'm glad I got it for free.

Pocket Monster Hunters
1/5 Stars

Am I the only one to notice they took all the names from Pokémon? I wasn't even a Pokémon fan back in the day and I figured that one out.

I've played this game for two minutes, and I think I've figured it out in ten easy steps:
1) look at some Japanese cartoon drawings and tap the thing that says 'Busy' even though it isn't
2) go through a few things with some Engrish (badly translated Asian english) and try to figure out what to do
3) tap 'combat' then 'hunt'. some stuff happens and you try to figure out how to fight
4) you die
5) look in the "Help" to try to find controls for fighting. Read more Engrish, don't see any.
6) go back to the hunt… realize you're not supposed to do anything.
7) watch the "fight" and wonder why you've spent so much time on this already
8) quit the game
9) get in your car and go on the freeway. throw your iPhone/iPad/iPod out the window. Make sure that semi behind you runs it over and smashes it into a million tiny little pieces.
10) buy new iDevice, vowing never to download or ever think about PMH ever ever ever again.

Surprise!!!

SURPRISE!!!

So this past week, my dad went to Indianapolis for the Mecum Auto Auction there and he came back yesterday without a car. But I stepped outside our front door at 10am this morning and saw a 'new' 1961 Buick Electra 225!!! Magic!!!

Monday, April 16

My first boring post. (I don't mean I had other posts and this is the first boring one; I mean that this is the first post I've made, and that it's boring)

Well I'm typing this in class. 9:40am. I've been here for two hours and 40 minutes. Been awake for four hours and forty minutes. I don't have money for extra stuff to go with my plain peanut butter sandwich I wasn't really planning on eating for lunch, and I'm hungry already. *sigh* Now I wanna eat my sandwich... Damn...
I'll probably be back here later today... hopefully funnier.

(Isn't this the greatest way for a comedian to start out his blog?)
[no]